Natural Hair Movement. Too curly to be part of the Kinky Trend

On the same train of thought as colourism. I’d like to address the issues that people have with my hair. I am of African and Indian decent. My hair curls in the natural hair world Id say I fall somewhere 3a/3b.  However the other day I saw a post on FB that really grinds my gears and i’m taking to this post to really bitch about it before I move square on with my life.19059563_1243711175750836_6814813999936631653_n

That shit is so annoying!! You know why this post annoyed me? Firstly because this is a pit black people against black people agenda again!! First my skin was too light and now my hair not kinky enough for you to embrace me into the natural hair movement….the movement away from relaxer(that I had from when I was 10 to 19) to embracing of the natural beauty  showing my heritage???? My hair curls yes  but it was still too poofy for my school, it was still too messy for formal functions and it was still hot combed like my 4c hair girls..tell me again I didn’t go through the struggle. My hair was relaxed because someone else thought it was too hard to comb it…tell me I don’t know the struggle..when hairdressers cut off lengths of it because they didn’t know how to get the knots out …tell me again  I don’t have hair struggles. Our struggles may be different  but its all the same principle and its all the same oppression we are trying to shed. We all trying to be free of the chains placed on us body and mind , we all dealing with the slavery that still affecting the way we think of ourselves. We all dealing with breaking free. Hold my hand don’t hold me down.

This you tuber said alot of how I feel check her out!

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Father’s Day

I grew up mostly with my mother. My dad didn’t live with us and really never made an effort to see my sister and I too frequently. As we got older it started becoming a problem that we didn’t call or visit. We would get countless talks about him providing for us financially and that we should be appreciative and show it in some way. There have been multiple threats of disownment and getting cut off  because we don’t seem to make the effort.

If you are reading this and you are a dad just like this ,I want to let you know something . Children don’t love you for your money or the things you can provide for them . Children cling to those that show love, that pay genuine attention and that make an effort to know them as they grow up. Children do not cling to the disciplinary figure who is only present when you are in deep shit. Children don’t see you as a constant if you show up once a year to give them a hundred dollars. Children will not put in the effort to call you or visit you if you never did it for them. As a father you have the responsibility to love your children and to ensure that they feel that love, anything short of that is meaningless.

I spent the day with my dad today  ,father’s day ,but I didn’t feel I was celebrating anything because to be honest  i have never felt like I have had any real male role models. I want to let you know that what your children will feel towards you if you are this kind of parent is obligation ..not love and I’m sure you all want a bit more than that.

Light Skinned Bitch

I want to talk about colourism I always have  but  no one ever really takes me seriously because I’m Light skinned, but the fact of the matter is that light-skinned people don’t have it all easy like the rest of the community may think.

My colourism experience

I spent half my life on the island of Trinidad and then when  I was about 15 we moved to Tobago. I am originally a Tobagonian so the move was not hard in the aspect of not knowing the place. My first taste of colourism at my new school was on my first day…bruh.

I am sitting in the staff room waiting for the principal to  have me taken to my class and she comes out and says something to my grandmother. I had gotten my hair braided the day before because it was hard to comb. It would stay neat all week that way, but I saw her looking at me like I stabbed her mom the day before. She came over and greeted me, told me she knew my mother very well (Tobago is too small) and she would appreciate it if I don’t turn up to school with my hair like that again since my hair “is not for that.” I of course was baffled.images

Apparently my hair was too soft for braids, braids were for real black people hair and I didn’t qualify. There began some of the uncomfortable moments that plagued the rest of my high school life.

At this new school  I found out I was “red” which is a term used for you if you are lighter in hue than most black people. I was never called that before and I didn’t really like it. It grouped me in with a bunch of people I didn’t know and I didn’t understand why. I also found out I thought I was better than everyone else, which apparently is the idea that darker girls have about the lighter ones. I managed to make good friends at this school but even in my friend group there is a lot of “red gyal not good” commentary happening. I have come to realize that the struggles i go through as a “red gyal” had nothing to do with me as a person or my skin type for that matter. It is a brewing hate and misunderstanding on the other end. Lighter skin has meant less punishments, more perks for so long and darker girls resented it. It is still an idea that lighter skinned individuals are better looking, but that is not the fault of the lighter skin person. We cannot continue to vilify people because of how a society treats them based on something that was not even their choice or fault. As black people we need to stop separating ourselves from one another  and unite, light-skinned or not. If you need an apology for how people treat you to accept me as a black sister then I’m sorry for the history, but there is nothing i can do about it now . I support all my  coloured sisters in their ranging colours cause truth be told all our ancestors were  oiled up right next to each other to be sold as prized chattel. We as black people are the ones who need to take each other and build ourselves up  cause to be honest we are the only ones bringing ourselves down.

 

Musings of a Misfit

I had a conversation with a friend the other day on how our generation should be smarter. She  was adamant about the fact that we have seen the cycle that  certain mainstream or culturally norm behaviours  have on us but we continue to do it anyway. She was frustrated that no one really got where she was coming from even though it was so obvious to her that what she thought  was the truth. Why am I sharing this?? Well  to be honest I  can agree with her . We in this new generation should be doing better,we have the  resources that no one before us did and we have the information. Why are we doing the same things??

On the other hand, when I had this conversation I realized how self absorbed we are as humans. I’m not saying I think the person I had this conversation with is self absorbed I genuinely believe as humans that is the nature of a lot of our behaviours.  She wants others to see things the way she does because its obvious to her that moving in a different direction would be beneficial for all of us… but that is her reality. I told her that we are content in where we are and what we have. She said to me that mediocrity is nothing to be satisfied about. To me once again that was her reality. It seems because we see things through our eyes we find it hard to know or to be compassionate about where others come from. Though she sees what she has a limited or what we do as young adults in these days dull and boring  for others it is an expression of freedom, a way to be who you are and an identify that you forge for yourself. The world to her as it is  is dull, but for many ,including me, this world is magic.  I see where I thing people can do better  but it does not mean that my ideas, ideals and understandings should be accepted and adopted by everyone I meet. The world is a diverse  and amazing place, being mad that people don’t see things the way you do is pointless. Live from new perspectives, dance to different music ,move on and learn. It is inevitable in a world so vast that things will be different and at some point maybe the dullness will turn into colour.216637_10150152788364454_3240393_n

Who am I ? Why am I doing this?

I tried to think of some thing witty or whimsical to post  as my first post but go figure I couldn’t think of anything I found iinteresting enough so I will just introduce myself. My name is Danielle which I love but which I find too generic and links me to other people too closely. I am called Nadie  by my friends and people who add me on fb and don’t actually know my name. My favorite colours are black green and purple  Green I like mostly because others don’t and black because I like things that match my soul. I have  a degree I would like to get a refund on in psychology. I am Caribbean, stereotypically so as I love the beach and pina coldas and all the other things people think Caribbean people do. I am your generic 24 year old. I am struggling to live to be happy and to be a success. People don’t seem to like reading about the ordinary it reminds them of how uninteresting they themselves are…but if you use the right word’s and look hard enough you can see the extraordinary in all ordinary things

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