Savor the moment

I  have been doing a lot lately when it comes to big life decisions. I keep telling myself once I do this or once I accomplish this I can start living my life the way I want to. When I was in school it was “once I finish high school I will be able to be an adult do what I want.” Then  when I entered college it was “once I finish college and move back home I will begin my life.” Then I got a boyfriend in the country of my university and suddenly I didn’t want to move back home, but I had to, I had loans to pay off and unfinished business to attend. So after that it became “once I’m done with this I will move back to and my boyfriend and I can start living.” I have been in the process of moving back now and I still find myself saying things like” when we get better paying jobs  we can travel”  I am always waiting for something more. Is that even healthy ? I realize in  waiting for the big things to come and to meet all the goals that I set for myself that happiness became a fleeting thing.

Though I love to have my goals and work towards them I really don’t want that to be all my life is made of. I have been telling myself lately that I need to savor the moment. To be honest the moment is all we have. I have so many plans but no one knows what can happen in a second. I strive everyday now to bask in the glory of right here and right now, to savor more,what I do have, instead of what I want. To just be for a while and enjoy it. via Daily Prompt: Savor



One of the biggest debates I get into on my page is on vaccines. I am of the strong belief that vaccines are necessary for a healthy child and by extension a healthy society. Have you ever seen a child with whooping cough ??? Its one of the most painful things I have ever seen in my life. In recent years things like measles have been making a come back  because of those who choose not to get vaccinated. Usually I’m all for differing opinions but I do not condone actions of others that affect the whole population.

One of the arguments individuals use when they do not vaccinate their children is  “if vaccines really work why is my unvaccinated child a risk to yours who has been vaccinated” Now this is a whole thing on its own. When most of the population is vaccinated  it decreases the likelihood that someone would come into contact with the virus. This  lessens the chances of that virus being brought into an area and spread as most people are vaccinated. In  every place there are people who cannot be vaccinated  for whatever reason, the most likely of these being that they are immunocompromised. This means the immune system does not work as it should. For these people vaccines would not be recommended but because most people around them are vaccinated the chance of them coming into contact with the disease is lessened. Now here is where unvaccinated people come in. If  more and more people are unvaccinated  there is a higher likelihood of  exposure to   viruses. These viruses can  be spread among those who are unvaccinated including those who are immunocompromised which causes major complications to their health. When these viruses are given hosts it also gives them time and leeway  to mutate. These viruses mutate in a way that the vaccines  do not work and an epidemic can occur.

The other big issue with those who  decide to remain unvaccinated is the idea that vaccines cause autism. Now I am not saying that vaccines are perfect,they are not. There are numerous things in vaccines that really shouldn’t be there. However in healthy individuals vaccines are  not a risk in getting. There are issues with those who are immuno compromised or those who my be deficient in some  nutrient. Generally vaccines are safe. I’m not a scientist so I can’t give you the science behind it but this video really   gives you an idea of vaccines and why they may seem to be  as bad as people think they are. There are precautions to take yes, but not vaccinating your child is not something you should be messing with. Watch the video!

Learn to Be disappointed

The first time i was really disappointed I was 11. In my country we do an exam to get into high school.  There are certain percentages you have to get to make it to your top school. We indicated  the top schools we wanted to go to and did the exam

I was obsessed with a school called Holy Name Convent. I thought  it was awesome and I had friends that had passed for there the year before. I even bought the black school shoe that was  part of the school uniform. On results day my heart was in my throat  and as I opened it my heart dropped into my toe. I hadn’t passed for Holy Name. I had missed it by 1%. My paper instead said  Providence Girl’s Catholic School. I was devastated. I cried  and cried, what a disaster!

My mom told me  it was still a good school and to go ahead and see how it goes. I spent two years at Providence before my family moved to Tobago. My Point? I loved Providence . I learned a lot about  life and about myself. I made great friends and was genuinely happy.

I learned then that you don’t always get what you want…but you sure as hell get what you need.

I try to remember this when things don’t go my way these days, and look at new unexpected opportunities and even  the things I consider tragedies as something needed for my growth.

Natural Hair Movement. Too curly to be part of the Kinky Trend

On the same train of thought as colourism. I’d like to address the issues that people have with my hair. I am of African and Indian decent. My hair curls in the natural hair world Id say I fall somewhere 3a/3b.  However the other day I saw a post on FB that really grinds my gears and i’m taking to this post to really bitch about it before I move square on with my life.19059563_1243711175750836_6814813999936631653_n

That shit is so annoying!! You know why this post annoyed me? Firstly because this is a pit black people against black people agenda again!! First my skin was too light and now my hair not kinky enough for you to embrace me into the natural hair movement….the movement away from relaxer(that I had from when I was 10 to 19) to embracing of the natural beauty  showing my heritage???? My hair curls yes  but it was still too poofy for my school, it was still too messy for formal functions and it was still hot combed like my 4c hair girls..tell me again I didn’t go through the struggle. My hair was relaxed because someone else thought it was too hard to comb it…tell me I don’t know the struggle..when hairdressers cut off lengths of it because they didn’t know how to get the knots out …tell me again  I don’t have hair struggles. Our struggles may be different  but its all the same principle and its all the same oppression we are trying to shed. We all trying to be free of the chains placed on us body and mind , we all dealing with the slavery that still affecting the way we think of ourselves. We all dealing with breaking free. Hold my hand don’t hold me down.

This you tuber said alot of how I feel check her out!

Father’s Day

I grew up mostly with my mother. My dad didn’t live with us and really never made an effort to see my sister and I too frequently. As we got older it started becoming a problem that we didn’t call or visit. We would get countless talks about him providing for us financially and that we should be appreciative and show it in some way. There have been multiple threats of disownment and getting cut off  because we don’t seem to make the effort.

If you are reading this and you are a dad just like this ,I want to let you know something . Children don’t love you for your money or the things you can provide for them . Children cling to those that show love, that pay genuine attention and that make an effort to know them as they grow up. Children do not cling to the disciplinary figure who is only present when you are in deep shit. Children don’t see you as a constant if you show up once a year to give them a hundred dollars. Children will not put in the effort to call you or visit you if you never did it for them. As a father you have the responsibility to love your children and to ensure that they feel that love, anything short of that is meaningless.

I spent the day with my dad today  ,father’s day ,but I didn’t feel I was celebrating anything because to be honest  i have never felt like I have had any real male role models. I want to let you know that what your children will feel towards you if you are this kind of parent is obligation ..not love and I’m sure you all want a bit more than that.

Light Skinned Bitch

I want to talk about colourism I always have  but  no one ever really takes me seriously because I’m Light skinned, but the fact of the matter is that light-skinned people don’t have it all easy like the rest of the community may think.

My colourism experience

I spent half my life on the island of Trinidad and then when  I was about 15 we moved to Tobago. I am originally a Tobagonian so the move was not hard in the aspect of not knowing the place. My first taste of colourism at my new school was on my first day…bruh.

I am sitting in the staff room waiting for the principal to  have me taken to my class and she comes out and says something to my grandmother. I had gotten my hair braided the day before because it was hard to comb. It would stay neat all week that way, but I saw her looking at me like I stabbed her mom the day before. She came over and greeted me, told me she knew my mother very well (Tobago is too small) and she would appreciate it if I don’t turn up to school with my hair like that again since my hair “is not for that.” I of course was baffled.images

Apparently my hair was too soft for braids, braids were for real black people hair and I didn’t qualify. There began some of the uncomfortable moments that plagued the rest of my high school life.

At this new school  I found out I was “red” which is a term used for you if you are lighter in hue than most black people. I was never called that before and I didn’t really like it. It grouped me in with a bunch of people I didn’t know and I didn’t understand why. I also found out I thought I was better than everyone else, which apparently is the idea that darker girls have about the lighter ones. I managed to make good friends at this school but even in my friend group there is a lot of “red gyal not good” commentary happening. I have come to realize that the struggles i go through as a “red gyal” had nothing to do with me as a person or my skin type for that matter. It is a brewing hate and misunderstanding on the other end. Lighter skin has meant less punishments, more perks for so long and darker girls resented it. It is still an idea that lighter skinned individuals are better looking, but that is not the fault of the lighter skin person. We cannot continue to vilify people because of how a society treats them based on something that was not even their choice or fault. As black people we need to stop separating ourselves from one another  and unite, light-skinned or not. If you need an apology for how people treat you to accept me as a black sister then I’m sorry for the history, but there is nothing i can do about it now . I support all my  coloured sisters in their ranging colours cause truth be told all our ancestors were  oiled up right next to each other to be sold as prized chattel. We as black people are the ones who need to take each other and build ourselves up  cause to be honest we are the only ones bringing ourselves down.


Musings of a Misfit

I had a conversation with a friend the other day on how our generation should be smarter. She  was adamant about the fact that we have seen the cycle that  certain mainstream or culturally norm behaviours  have on us but we continue to do it anyway. She was frustrated that no one really got where she was coming from even though it was so obvious to her that what she thought  was the truth. Why am I sharing this?? Well  to be honest I  can agree with her . We in this new generation should be doing better,we have the  resources that no one before us did and we have the information. Why are we doing the same things??

On the other hand, when I had this conversation I realized how self absorbed we are as humans. I’m not saying I think the person I had this conversation with is self absorbed I genuinely believe as humans that is the nature of a lot of our behaviours.  She wants others to see things the way she does because its obvious to her that moving in a different direction would be beneficial for all of us… but that is her reality. I told her that we are content in where we are and what we have. She said to me that mediocrity is nothing to be satisfied about. To me once again that was her reality. It seems because we see things through our eyes we find it hard to know or to be compassionate about where others come from. Though she sees what she has a limited or what we do as young adults in these days dull and boring  for others it is an expression of freedom, a way to be who you are and an identify that you forge for yourself. The world to her as it is  is dull, but for many ,including me, this world is magic.  I see where I thing people can do better  but it does not mean that my ideas, ideals and understandings should be accepted and adopted by everyone I meet. The world is a diverse  and amazing place, being mad that people don’t see things the way you do is pointless. Live from new perspectives, dance to different music ,move on and learn. It is inevitable in a world so vast that things will be different and at some point maybe the dullness will turn into colour.216637_10150152788364454_3240393_n

Who am I ? Why am I doing this?

I tried to think of some thing witty or whimsical to post  as my first post but go figure I couldn’t think of anything I found iinteresting enough so I will just introduce myself. My name is Danielle which I love but which I find too generic and links me to other people too closely. I am called Nadie  by my friends and people who add me on fb and don’t actually know my name. My favorite colours are black green and purple  Green I like mostly because others don’t and black because I like things that match my soul. I have  a degree I would like to get a refund on in psychology. I am Caribbean, stereotypically so as I love the beach and pina coldas and all the other things people think Caribbean people do. I am your generic 24 year old. I am struggling to live to be happy and to be a success. People don’t seem to like reading about the ordinary it reminds them of how uninteresting they themselves are…but if you use the right word’s and look hard enough you can see the extraordinary in all ordinary things

Blog at

Up ↑